Love is....watching Days of our lives together

My family has never been the hugging type. Or the kissing type. Or any kind of public-display-of- affection-type. When I was 17 and was leaving home in order to do my exchange year in the USA, my dad sort of padded me on my back and said "well, take care now", and off I went. But all of this doesn't mean that we don't love or care for each other, or that our family is in some way dysfunctional. I've always felt extremely loved by my folks, and that's because we show affection in other ways.

"gots to plug in the TV...."

Example.

When I wasn't a baby anymore and was allowed to stay at home alone while my parents worked (as in during school holidays), I remember how my dad got home at noon and cooked us lunch. Now, he's not exactly a master chef, so usually we ate what ever was left over from the day before. But sometimes there was nothing left over, and in that case it was time to crack open the fabulous can of Finnish pea soup. He emptied the can of green blubber in a pan, added water (he'd put in a little extra so that there would be enough soup for both of us), and then he'd let it heat up for about 10 min on the stove.

It was the wateriest, tasteless, non-nutritious thing ever, but we always ate it with great pleasure, together, him reading the paper and me reading Donald Duck. Then he went back to work. I went back to doing what ever the heck I was doing, thinking that a cooking dad was a loving one. And since he didn't like cooking nor was he good at it, but he did it anyway, must mean that he extra cares for me.

When I was a bit older, in high school already, there was a new way for us to show affection, thanks to the magical TV soap called The Bold and the Beautiful. Every night after school and work we'd arrive home, dad would make some coffee and mom sandwiches, and then we'd all watch together in silence how Ridge married first Caroline, then Brooke, the Taylor, then Brooke again, then it was Eric's turn to marry a few ladies and make Stephanie angry and her nostrils flare. 

Oh, good times. 

After the soap me and dad usually stayed in the living room to watch Dr. Phil. This went on every evening, monday through friday. It was like a little safety blanket of mine. No matter how shitty my day had been, there would always be the Boldies with the folksies when I got home.

Oh, I do also have a bigger sister, but she's ten years older than me so she didn't hang out with us anymore eating pea soup or watching the telly. She came to do silly things with us during the weekends. I think I was about 3 years old when I drew a picture of me, mom and dad. Mom asked where's my sister at. I said "she's on a trip". Out of sight but never out of mind.

My parents are in pension now, and so they have developed a whole new routine to follow. When I was in Finland this August for a 3 week vacation, I obviously took part in their little master plan. This is pretty much how it goes:

- 9.15 rise and shine

- 9.30 dad makes coffee, each of us prepare a breakfast of choice 

- 9.50 moving to the living room with what ever you got to eat

- 10.00 we watch The Young and the Restless together

- 10.50 dad stays in the living room down stairs in order to watch Heartbeat, while me and mom go upstairs in order to watch the rerun of yesterday evening's German soap Sturm der Liebe (jawohl!)

- 11.30 if it's a weekday then mom cooks porridge for her and dad

 -11.45 free time

So at this point everybody goes and does what ever they want to do. There's a lunch around 13.30pm but I was usually never in because I was seeing friends etc. In the late afternoon the pensioner's program continues...

- 16.00 dad makes coffee, each of us prepare a little something to nibble

- 16.30 me and mom watch Sturm der Liebe upstairs (I'd watch the same show again the next morning), while dad watches the news or something downstairs, followed occasionally by Dr. Phil. Unfortunately the Finnish soap Salatut Elämät wasn't on during the summer, otherwise we would've watched that.

This went on for 3 weeks. And I loved it. It was silly and useless, but these routines that we did every day brought me a sense of security, and it made me relax. It was like in the good ol' days. What ever was going on in my life there would always be TV time with the folks. And nibbles. 

my TV station now...

We might never have said it to each other, but I think it was equally important to all of us to have those 45 min together watching how Dr. Phil was dealing with some hillbilly from Hickersville who had accidentally married his cousin and is now secretly in love with the neighbor's cow. Somehow it made our lives seem a whole less complicated.

I still watch a lot of TV. I've lived alone for 15 years now, and every time I get home at night I turn on the TV. It was one of the first things I bought when I got to Italy. And it's not just on to keep me company, I actually watch it, with interest. A friend of mine asked me what's the point of having a TV, watching the stupid shows everyday, when you could be out there doing interesting stuff and meeting new people. I didn't know how to answer him, because I didn't think he was totally wrong. Going out and meeting new people is great and I do love that as well.

It only hit me just now, as I was writing my posting. To me watching TV is a reminder of my family and their love for me. I watch TV because it's what we do in my family, it's our way of enjoying our time together. That might sound like a sad thing to someone, and that's fine. But when you've lived abroad for 3 years you start to miss even those stupid little things you used to do with your family. 

Actually, those stupid little things are the ones you miss the most.