Welfare Gypsy

We've all seen the movie "Chocolat" where Johnny Depp plays the sexy gypsy who sings and dances and eats chocolate. In the same movie there's the woman played by Juliette Binoche who is making the chocolate ate by the dancing and singing Johnny Depp. It's a movie loved by (almost) everyone, not only because it has an interesting cast ( Judi Dench!!!!!), it's romantic, it deals with difficult issues and there's chocolate. But also because the life of a drifting gypsy is most intriguing.

Trailer Chocolat

Finland....... or......

I currently don't know where my home is.

When I go to Finland for Christmas and I'm about to update my status in Facebook accordingly, I never know what to write. "I'm going home for Christmas" doesn't sound right, because I'm going to my parents' house, not mine. I used to have an apartment up there, as in my VERY OWN apartment with a loan from the bank and everything, and that to me was home. I don't have that apartment anymore, so to me, I have no home in Finland. Of course I'm always welcome to my parents' house (eh, right mom???) but it's not the same.

Nor can I say that my home is in Italy. Three years isn't enough for me to call a place my home. Not to mention that during these 3 years I've lived in 3 different apartments, and I haven't been able to attach myself emotionally to any of them.

To me,  home is where your dishwasher is. Let me explain.

To me a dishwasher is something extremely grown-up. The first time I had a dishwasher was when I bought my own apartment. I had just graduated from the polytechnic and landed my first real job, and so my dad said "looky here, there's no point in renting anymore, get your own place, it's like putting money in a bank!". Actually it was more like the bank giving me money and then taking it back tenfold, but still, he had a point. So to me, a dishwasher is something you get to have when you've decided to settle down. If not for forever, at least for a long time.

....Italy....... or.....

I don't have a dishwasher at the moment. And I know that I will never have a dishwasher here in Italy. I could go to Finland and get a dishwasher there, but I don't really want to go back. Not now anyway. I feel like a gypsy.




I'm not a cool Johnny Depp/Juliette Binoche type of a gypsy though. I'm a welfare gypsy. 

 A welfare gypsy doesn't just take off and go when the wind changes. A welfare gypsy might be impulsive and reluctant to stay at one place for too long, but she never goes anywhere without a plan. By the time that she's got her act together Johnny and Juliette would've fixed the marriages of the whole village and eaten so much chocolate that they'd have to enroll in Weight Watchers. A welfare gypsy gets up from her ass only if she's got a job lined up and preferably also a place to stay. Staying in a shared apartment for a while is NOT and option. She appears to be all nonchalant and not attached to anything or anyone (that can also be very true), but she's by no means an adventurer. Actually, deep in her heart she longs to find that place where she can stay happily ever after with her Iittala mugs and Marimekko curtains. She's ready to leave in an instant should the opportunity present itself, but she doesn't mind waiting for the right thing to come along. Mind you though, behind the curtains (not the ones from Marimekko but the figure-of-speech-curtains) she's all prepared and ready to go, but she keeps all that a secret.

My problem is that I get bored easily. Not with people but with places and things. I seem to have a craving for challenges and when life gets too "easy", I start to feel the urge to take off. I recently started to take private German lessons, and due to my competitive nature the aim is not only to learn the language but to learn it fast (jawohl!!). I need a challenge to feel alive. Otherwise I feel like I'm staying still and not doing anything worth while with my life.

...a place yet unknown....?

A friend of mine said that I'm a free spirit. That I don't get too attached to people, and therefore it's easier for me to leave people behind in order to find something else. I agree and I disagree. It's true that I don't find it difficult to take up and leave, if it's for the right reasons. But I do get attached to people, and cherish them in my heart. It might not come across always, I'm not a touchyfeely-kinda person, but I do value the people that I've chosen to have in my life. Actually, I value and trust them so much that I'm not worried about leaving them behind, because our friendship will go on no matter where we are. Right?

One day, I hope to have a dishwasher again. And I hope that it's the last one I'll ever own.