So yesterday was supposed to be the end of a 5 day wait for me. I don't really want to discuss the reason of my waiting, so let's say that I was waiting for Santa Claus. And no this doesn't mean that I was waiting for a guy, or a person for that matter, it's just a metaphor. Anyways, he had said to me Wednesday last week "listen, Erika, on Monday I'm gonna stop by at 6.30 pm, be ready". "Oh boy oh boy oh boy" I responded to Santa Claus and just couldn't believe he'd visit me personally. I didn't really care what presents he would bring, even though I was curious to find out, but the important thing was that he was coming.
The weekend passed by super slow even though I had million things to do (including curing a head ache caused by grappa that I drank Saturday in order to sing a 2 hour gig with a sore throat) and I didn't get much sleep Sunday night. Come Monday and I was shitting my pants, but still super excited about the meeting. I had thought about all the things I would say to Santa, which is actually useless because you can't decide beforehand how the conversation is going to go, but still, at least you feel prepared. I had thought about my opening line, and my closing line, and a few things to say in between. I changed my clothes after I came home from work in order to be nice and fresh, and I even put on some more make up to be super pretty. At 6.15 pm I had a knot in my stomach the size of a watermelon. It's Santa for god's sake, it's a big deal. I had even put the cat in the closet so she wouldn't disturb (well not really, but I told her to be veryvery good or she wouldn't get any food the next day).
Precisely at 6.30 pm I was waiting at the door, but couldn't see anyone. Well, it's ok, he's just running a little late. At 6.45 pm I started to get a bit cold so I took a blanket and sat down again to wait. At 7.00 pm I started to think that I'm a bit silly waiting here by the door, I could just as easily be in the living room. At 7.10 pm I let the cat out of the closet. At 7.20 pm I start to get a bit worried, and so I try to call Santa. No response. At 7.30 pm I send him a message "Heyyyyy Santa, I'm over here waiting for you, wonder where you are... we did say Monday at 6.30 pm right? Hope all is ok and nothing bad has happened...". At 8.00 pm I realize that he hasn't responded. At 8.30 pm I think to myself that if Santa was my boyfriend this would be the time I'd let him have a piece of my mind, but since Santa's currently not my boyfriend, there's really nothing I can do. At 8.45 pm I call my mom to say that I don't think Santa's coming.
Now, if it was someone else I was waiting for, like an Italian dude who by nature is always late, or someone generally unreliable, I would understand: But Santa not showing up is just weird. It'S hard to understand why Santa didn't come even he said he would. Santa, who's just about the most reliable dude in the world. I was prepared for anything, any outcome, any gift, a partial gift, a bad gift, even no gifts, but I wasn't prepared to him not showing up at all.
So now I'm left here, wondering and waiting. Waiting and not knowing. The two things I hate the most in this world. Not knowing if Santa will ever show up, and when. Not knowing if I should wait for his gifts or go buy my own. After all, even if he came, there might not be any gifts for me, just a big ol' empty bag. I can't really go calling Santa over and over, that's just harassment. If Santa has decided not to come, and he never wants to see me again, then I'll just have to deal with that. I might try and figure out why this has happened, whether I did something to scare Santa off, or whether Santa's just a big freakin lier, but that would get me nowhere. Only Santa knows the truth, and he ain't telling.
Come back Santa, I promise I'll be good.
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| "moooom, can I come out of the closet now???" |
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