Bucket list

First of all I'd like to point out that if you want random people to read your blog, just insert the words "porn", "John Holmes", "gonorrhea" or "bollocks" in it, and your success is guaranteed. In fact, FYI, I will be using at least one of these words from now on every time I scribble a new posting. 

And now, let's get to the actual point. Who knows what a bucket list is? Everybody? Good. For those of you who forgot I'll just say that it's a list of things to do. Sometime. Anytime. Not necessarily  before you're 30, or 40, or 80. But sometime between now and the day you die.

I got a few things there, some realistic, others not so much. Here are some of them.

1.      I want to see what it's like to be pregnant
This has nothing to do with wanting a family of my own, or a baby in general, I would just really like to know what it's like to be pregnant. To go around with that huge tummy and feeling someone beat you up from the inside. Seeing that it's very difficult to be 8 months pregnant and then just have the fetus disappear, I doubt I'll ever experience this without actually giving birth as well. We'll just put this into the "not realistic" category shall we?

2.     I want to be a man for a day
I already talked about this in my previous post. I would like to be a man for a day, just to see how the "male-parts" work and to have facial hair. Also, I would like to see if it's really that hard to pee with that thing. I would like to see for myself if it really itches that often that you just have to scratch it every 5 min. Also, I want to see if thinking and rationalizing is indeed easier as a man. Would I be as carefree as most men, and would I be able to have casual sex without any after thoughts. Also this one goes to the category "not realistic", because even if I managed to turn into a full grown male, I doubt I could turn back to a woman the next day.

did Luce scratch his balls while
fighting to save the glaxy?
I don't think so...

3.     I want to go to New York
I almost went already. I had a trip booked with a good friend of mine for 10 days in the end of November 2010. The plain tickets cost almost nothing, 390€ I think, so it was a good deal, only we had to book the tickets already in March and they weren't refundable. My friend informed me in August that she couldn't go after all. Ok, no problem, I'll just go by myself right? Wrong. In October 2010 I landed this job in Italy, and they advised me that it was crucial that I be there starting from December. So in the end I end up cancelling the trip as well, no money back. But damned, I will get there. One day.


4.     I will jump into water head first
I have a slight fear of water. As in water that goes above my head. I love to take baths, and even rivers and the sea in general, as long as the water stays below my chin. I never go swimming when there are lots of people in the pool, because they always splash water in my eyes and this causes a major problem for me. See, if I have water in my eyes, I can't see. In order to see again, I need to rub my eyes. But if I'm rubbing my eyes, who's doing the swimming for me? If no one's swimming for me, I will drown. So other people in the pool equals drowning, as far as I'm concerned. Jumping into the water head first is just madness, but I will do it. One day.

come on, I dare you...

5.    I will skydive or fly or do some other weird crap in the sky
I wouldn't bungee jump because for some reason I think that's super dangerous. Where as jumping from an airplane is not. Nor is flying in general. I would also take flying lessons if somebody paid for them. One day.

6.     I will own my own apartment again
And it will be my own owned apartment. Owning one's own apartment is important. Otherwise you might wake up at 60 and realize that you've never owned your own apartment. Ownownownownownownownow :) No but seriously, I already had my own apartment once, with a bank loan and everything, and it was a really nice thing to have. An investment if you may. Something that tells you where you belong. When I'm renting it means that I'm not quite settled down. If I'm buying it means I'm there to stay, at least for a while.
By the time I'm 40 I will have my own apartment again. And that's a fact. That's not even a bucket list-wishy-washy-kindofathing. It's just the way things are gonna be.

The only thing missing is the wicked witch. A.k.a. me.

I only have one thing to add.
The bollocks with John Holmes.