Italian grandpa vs. Finnish grandpa

I'm always amazed how the life of an old person is a lot different here in Italy than it is in Finland (and lots of other countries as well I imagine). To a person who's never had active grandparents around (in a sense that most of them went ahead and died before I was even born) it's mind blowing to see these old folk running around town like it was mardi gras every day.

In Italy grandpa has friends, or "amichetti". With his amichetti grandpa goes out every night to drink a little bit of red wine and play cards at the pub nearby. There's a pub every 50m so grandpa and his little amichetti won't even have to walk far, which is good because they're all over 80. They talk in dialect that only they understand, and when they see me pass by they always greet politely and say something that I don't understand (probably obscenities). And then they all laugh. They're never drunk even if they drink gallons of wine, because during the years their liver has grown accustomed to the local beverages. And if they're drunk, who gives a shit, they're not driving home and the wife's been dead for 10 years already.

The Finnish grandpa will be glad to find some apple juice in the fridge to drink alone, and if he's lucky he can have some crackers for an evening snack, but only if he promises to clean up his fake teeth before going to bed.


If the Italian grandpa is feeling frisky and has a certain level of autonomy, he lives alone in the apartment which him and his wife (now dead) bought 50 years ago. He's a good cook, and in fact every Thursday he prepares a nice spicy vegetable soup for his grandson to take to work for lunch, to share with his co-workers. He has all the time in the world to go buy fresh vegetables from the vegetable-man, and maybe he has even a little garden of his own where to grow some tomatoes and weed(s).

If the Italian grandpa doesn't feel like living alone, he can always bunk up with his son's family. This usually means that sonny-boy has a huge mansion somewhere an grandpa has his own little "home" at the east-wing. Of course they all eat together every day, and grandpa teaches his grandson how to play cards so that he doesn't lose when it's his turn to grow old and go to the pub with amichetti.

The Finnish grandpa stays at an old people's home with other old folk, where he's offered a diaper change and a hug from the nurse every 4 hours. They can play cards together from 7-8 pm if they're all still awake.

If the Finnish grandpa is still active and feeling goooood, usually the highlight of his day would be to take the bus number 4B to go to the local supermarket at 6.30am (= when the doors of the supermarket are opened) to buy 2 packs of grounded coffee beans because they're on sale. And how does the Finnish grandpa know this? Because the day before he's read every inch of the little commercial-leaflet that he found in his letterbox. If he's lucky, there will also be a tasting of a new brand of cheese or some pastry, which means that all the grannies of the neighborhood will be there too. This is his version of "going out with the amichetti".

Like I said I've never really had grandparents, so I know nothing about being with them. So I felt a little touched when my friend's grandpa took me aside one time when I was at their house for dinner, and explained to me how to get a good boyfriend. It was good advice too, with examples from his own life and everything. I said to myself so THIS is what it's like to have a grandpa. If I add all the grandpas I meet regularly at the local bar, I can safely say that by now I have a whole dozen of them. Of course there are always the weird ones as well, you know the ones that would like to be your boyfriend because I'm foreign and clearly in need of a sugar-daddy, or the one who at the age of 70 colors his hair dark brown and tries to pass for a 40 year old (it's the grey roots that give him away). Still, mostly they're good fun.

Now, maybe I'm wrong about the Finnish grandpa. Maybe he has his own secret club in his basement where he throws amazing parties, or maybe he's happy as an easter egg staying at the old folks home, pinching the nurse's ass. What the hell do I know about being an old person in Finland? Nothing, that's what.

But I don't see them running around like it was mardi gras either.