The right to happiness

Today I'd like to be a bit more serious and talk about happiness. And my right to be happy.
I'm 33. I'm single. It's about time to think about what I want to do with the rest of my life. Where do I see myself in 5 years time?

First of all, I see myself as a house owner. Or more like an apartment owner. I've already had my own apartment once but had to sell it when I moved to Italy. I'm not one of those people who wants to rent for the rest of their lives, and I would like to see myself owning an apartment again before I'm 40. I don't want to be a nomad for the rest of my life. Gots to put mi roots down.

look into the horizon...

Second of all, I would like to be in a steady relationship. I'm not worried about having a family of my own, the biological clock has never even started to tick in my case (and I doubt it ever will), but I would like to find someone to share my everyday life with. A companion, a partner in crime, someone to take to the supermarket to buy toilet paper and toothpaste. Someone with whom to cook dinner, to eat breakfast in bed, to go to the movies and who doesn't leave me if I fart in my sleep. A soul mate if you will.

Then there's the mother of all questions. What about work?

I've never gotten the job that I wanted. I've always been chosen, but I've never gotten to choose myself. The jobs that I've had have always sort of "happened", or they were available at a moment when I needed one and so I've said "ok, it's not what I had imagined, but what the hell". Every time I've actually gotten excited about a job or a company, they've always shot me down. Therefore, I've always had a job that's just "ok". Nothing wrong with it, but not the dream job that I always wanted.

Now that the economy is in crisis and everything, I've started to doubt my right to a dream job. There are a lot of people without a job, so why should I complain when at least I'm working and earning money. Still, happiness is a relative thing, and I still have a small flame inside of me that's reminding me that just because everybody doesn't have a job or because everybody's not working for their ideal company, doesn't mean that I shouldn't pursue my dreams. Right?

...nothing but blue skies!!!

My all time absolute dream would be to work at the airport. Anyone who's read my blog knows how enthusiastic I am about airports. Still, finding a job at the airport has proved to be difficult. Every time I've sent out an application, I've gotten a "no" response, or no response. I sort of believe in destiny and that getting many no-answers means just that the universe is telling you to let it go. That it's not meant to be. Or that now's not the right time. (Btw, how the hell are you supposed to know the difference between "no" and "not now", Mr. Universe could you be a bit clearer eh?). But at the same time I'm asking myself if I can just let this thing go and settle for an "ok" job? To go to work every day and not once feel enthusiastic about it? That sounds just a tad too sad for me.

The reason why I'm worried about having an "ok" job is because I get bored easily. If I'm not enthusiastic about what I'm doing, after a while I just loose interest all together. Naturally every job sucks occasionally, and that's fine. But there should be more days when your job doesn't suck, then those when it does. 

So. That's something to think about.

In the meantime I'm gonna buy that apartment and get me a soul mate to fart with.

EDIT:
I often read the horoscope of Internazionale (a cool and valid magazine here in Italy).
Here's what it had to say today:
“È sorprendente quanto tempo ci vuole per arrivare a conoscere se stessi”, scriveva il filosofo Ludwig Wittgenstein. “Ho 62 anni e solo un momento fa mi sono reso conto che mi piace il pane leggermente tostato e odio il pane bruciacchiato. Per più di sessant’anni, del tutto inconsciamente, il mio rapporto con il pane tostato mi ha provocato una profonda gioia interiore o la totale disperazione”. Il tuo compito, Leone, è cominciare una fase di autoscoperta come quella di Wittgenstein. È ora di diventare pienamente consapevole di tutte le piccole cose che ti piacciono o non ti piacciono e che nel loro complesso costituiscono la tua identità"
Need I say more? I think not.
Link Internazionale- Leone