It all started with an innocent trip to the lake Garda (in Italy), and afterwards I've become fixated on travelling by myself. I can make my own schedule, see the things that really interest me and not see things that don't interest me at all. I can go take a nap without feeling guilty about it, and sleep in if I'm feeling tired in the morning.
The only time I feel like some company would be in order is while I'm eating dinner. Luckily that can be arranged by finding a friendly restaurant where they sit you at the bar, and after the second night you're already friends with the staff and they'll keep you company while you eat. Problem solved.
So what happens when a young(ish) blond girl travels alone? She meets people. Man- people. And it can also happen that these man-people want to get to know you better and see you after you've returned home. Someone might call it organizing a date. I would.
Now, if this date-thing was happening with someone who lives in my city (and country), things might go approximately like this:
1) you go out one night during the week, let's say Wednesday, and you meet up in some local pub for drinks. You stay out for max 2 hours, and then it's bye bye
2) if the first date went well, you might meet up again, let's say on a Friday, for dinner. Or if you're romantic, you might meet up on a Saturday for a nice stroll by the sea side (during the day), and afterwards you go get some hot chocolate and talk for a few hours. And then it's bye bye
3) should there be a legendary third date, then it's your business what you do, I don't want to know anymore. But after the third date there's a slight possibility that you might be entering in some sort of a relationship, so be aware.
But since this man-person lives abroad, the scenario is approximately this:
1) can I come and spend a weekend at your house so I can stay with you 72 hours straight?
This freaks me out. It's like being on a first date for 3 days with someone you don't know all that well. You might realize after 2 hours that you don't like this man-person at all, and after that you're stuck with him for another 70 hours. And what's worse, he's going to be in your house, by your side, not leaving you alone, giving you zero privacy for the whole weekend. To me, this extensive closeness so early on might even ruin something that otherwise could have blossomed into a nice little relationship.
This kind of endurance-dating makes me feel like I'm running a marathon when I've only prepared myself for a 100m dash (or better, 200m fences). My feelings don't have the opportunity evolve through time, but everything has to happen NOW.
"Love me, right now, because on Sunday I'll be gone."
OK, I admit that I'm also freakishly intolerant about people who stay at my house for more than 3 hours at a time, and the same thing applies to me staying at someone else's house. To me, my house is my castle, and your house is your castle. "This is my dancing space, and that is your dancing space" (cit. P.Swayze, Dirty dancing)
Obviously none of this applies if I'm madly in love with you, then you can be the king of my castle for all I care. But until the deal is done, only short visits apply.
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| obviously you also need to get the cat's approval before entering my apartment |
It's weird though, the more I travel and the more people I get to know, the more I cherish the time I have for myself. I love meeting new people and hanging out with them, but when the night is over I can't wait to be by myself and mind my own business. Until the morning comes and I'm ready to be social again. It's like I need to recharge my togetherness-batteries or otherwise they'll run out and I'll become a mean bitch.
So what have we learned today folks? If you want to date me, you have to move to my country, preferably to my city, but you need to keep your distance. Easy as that! If you should one day receive an invitation to enter my apartment, you know things are going well.
Have a datefull WE everybody! Or not, your choice.
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