I was feeling a little girlish, so I rented two chick flicks. One talked about Valentine's Day, and the other one about New Year's Eve. They both talked about silly relationship stuff that only girls watch. Hence the expression "chick flick".
In the movie that talked about New Year's Eve there was this guy who hated New Year. He also mentioned that he had received 50 holiday greetings via sms from people he never hears from otherwise, you know the generic ones that you just type up and then send to everyone in your address book. It got me thinking.
Sending a generic greeting to someone is just about the most fake thing you can do. The most useless thing to do. The most disappointing thing to do from the receiver's point of view. Like a slap in the face from a person you hardly even know, or a big slap in the face from someone you know well.
What does a generic greeting convey really? "It's holiday X, and I'm not thinking about you in specific at all, but I want to come off as a good person so I wrote this message filled with generic things so that you can cancel it after reading it, and not feel special at all". Awwww. Sounds nice doesn't it. "I was almost thinking of you, but decided to write this generic message instead. Happy holidays, sucker". "Congratulations, you've managed to stay in my address book yet another year, here's your annual generic holiday wish".
I never know how to react to such a message. I sometimes get so angry with these "fuck-you's in the form of a message", that I write up an answer. A message where the receiver sees very clearly that I'm writing directly to them, asking about their life and using their names. Usually I don't get a response, but I always hope it made the sender of the generic message feel a little sting inside.
People often whine about having to send real Christmas cards, you know, via regular post. "Oh I have no time, and I still have these cards to send. I don't even know the addresses of these people anymore". Well, if you don't know their addresses anymore, shouldn't that be a sign that you've lost touch, and it's not like a Christmas card's going to fix it. People seem to think that sending a card once a year to someone with "Merry Christmas" written on it is called "keeping in touch". It's not folks. It's called force of habit, and it's as useless as that generic sms.
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| Now here's a nice message that took both thought and courage to post. Not that I'd want this in front of MY house, but still, it's better than a generic sms |
If you want to be nice, send a letter. Write stuff. Real stuff. Write an sms asking the other person how they're doing, and be interested in what they respond. Write them via FB. It doesn't matter what the method of contact is, the important thing is to write something that matters. Whether it's Christmas, Easter, New Year's Eve or just a regular day, write from your heart. Otherwise don't write at all, seeing that you don't care enough to make an effort.
A friend of mine sends me a hand made Christmas card every year, no matter where in the world I am. She's really good at making all kinds of nick nacks, so her cards are always amazing. You can see that she's worked on the card for hours, and really put some thought into it. When she writes a generic wish like "Merry Christmas" on the card, it's not generic at all. You can feel the warmth in those words. It always makes me feel special. It's a generic wish wrapped in tons of Christmas spirit and warm heartedness.
So I guess I was wrong folks. It's not about what you're saying, it's how you say it. It's about how you wrap up your message.
So next time you're about to send me a generic message, wrap it up. Preferably with a 24" tv or a bunch of 100$ bills, but a nice home made card or a drawing or a poem will do just fine as well.
Happy Monday people. From the bottom of my heart.
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