Out with the old, in with the new

It's year 2014 folks. Now, since this is not a fashion blog, I'm not about to list all my favorite outfits of 2013. I already made my new year's resolution, which was to be more empathetic (last year I was mostly just pathetic). Nor will I talk you through my most memorable moments of 2013, because as we say in Finland "tikulla silmààn sità joka vanhoja muistelee". A loose translation would be "if you spend too much time thinking about the past I'll come and put a stick in your eyeball". We Finns are just a bunch of poets aren't we. You got my point though.

What I will do is talk about something that's both embarrassing and interesting. Horoscopes.

When the goin get's tough, the tough get goin. Or in my case, the tough get reading a horoscope. Some people turn to religion in their time of need, some turn to their family and friends, some get a weird haircut and some get a new pet/car/jacket made of rubber they can't really afford. We all have our little ways of coping with distress. Mine is horoscopes.

Need advice? Call the Samaritans.

I'm not in any kind of distress at the moment, but I am sort of trying to figure out what to do with my life in general. Some might call that a 30-year crisis, but since using the word crisis sounds like I should be running around like a mad man pulling out my hair and chewing on erasers (like my classmate in second grade), I prefer to call it "soul searching" or "a period of self discovery". Fancy, eh? And we all know that the first day of January is the release date of the Mother of all horoscopes, a.k.a  the yearly horoscope where they tell you what up in the next 365 days. For someone trying to figure out what to do in 2014, it's like a gift from god.

So basically this year will go down as follows:
(I took this from the extremely reliable Finnish web-site called "Ellit", which offers laa-di-daa-articles for stay-at-home-moms, here's the link Leo 2014 by Ellit.fi )

In general: year 2014 will be da BOMB. Apparently this kind of good luck and success comes around only every 12 years, so better make the best of it. Especially starting from July the year is full of positive surprises, so I better spend the next 6 months getting ready to rumble.

Romance: Apparently I'll have plenty of opportunities to fall in love. But not before July (damn). During the second half of the year I should be playful and not take things too seriously, as I have done lately. (Personal note: now what the hell does that mean, "you've taken things too seriously"? That I'm an old stick-in-the-mud? We'll see about that...oh, hope you're not reading this bit mom)

Work: Apparently all that I've worked for the past 12 years will come to pay off. I should see some changes, take risks and have no fear because luck is on my side (or Jupiter actually). Also, travelling will be a big part of my working life, but it'll be so much fun that I'll have trouble concentrating on the work-part. My personal passions and my work life will come together nicely. (Personal note: well it was bloody time)

Well, not too shabby. Here's the catch though.

Looking for some direction?

If the horoscope says that things start to happen only after July, then should I turn down all promising offers (be it work or love-related) until then? How much should you rely on these things? Especially if they come from such a reliable source as Ellit.fi.

Now, if you ask me, there's horoscope and then there's HOROSCOPE. I don't believe in the daily horoscopes you read from the tabloids or even the monthly ones offered by some woman's magazine. But I do believe that the characteristics of a Leo are equal to mine to a tee. That also applies to the Chinese horoscope, which makes me a Monkey. Yeeees, a monkey, and when you've stopped laughing you can go see you're own Chinese horoscope and find out you're a donkey or something. So, if a yearly horoscope is done by looking at the stars and their movements and using astrology, then I think there might be some truth to it.

I used to work with this woman who was into clairvoyants and all kinds of mystical stuff. She also went to an astrologer regularly. Years back I was in somewhat of a distress, and so me and 2 of my female colleagues decided to give astrology a go. Here's how it works.

It's a one hour appointment, and everything she says to you is recorded in a tape that you get to take home. Before the meeting you send her your full name, precise time of birth and the place of birth. And then, off you go!

All of this was such a long time ago that I can't remember exactly what she told me, but I do remember some highlights. She said that the guy I was with wasn't the one (and he wasn't in the end). She made some very accurate insights on what I'm like as a person, not general stuff that applies to everyone like "you like candy" but some real character analysis. She also said some weird stuff that made me question the whole thing, such as I had suffered some hidden trauma as a kid that I don't remember (I asked my mom, no hidden traumas in my childhood, only out-in-the-open-traumas, heh). But the thing that struck me the most was that according to her I'd meet my future husband when I'm 34 (so that's after August this year), and that I'd have two children: one very intelligent philosopher type and the other a tree-hugger (equally intelligent I'm sure)

For someone who's fairly sure of NOT wanting children that was rather disturbing. I told her that as well, and she said "well, it's written very clearly on your astrological map, so that's what I'm telling you, and I guess we'll see what happens now won't we!". Oh, great. I'm not too fond of marriage either, so having a husband sounds like I'm about 75 years old and ready to die, but I guess we'll find out that as well.

"here lies Erika, she got married and died"

Seeing that I went to the astrologer many years ago, it was hard to hear that I'd have to wait until 2014 to find Mr. Right. What the hell was I supposed to do in the meantime? Be playful??!! "Yes you're a very fine young man but apparently you're not the one for me so if you're up for a short term adventure, let me know". And what if I turn 35 and I'm still alone? Or maybe I'll meet Mr. Right, get married the next day, get knocked up, give birth to twins and then get a divorce, all within a year? Could happen. Then again, it would be strange the she didn't see THAT with her mystical astrology powers.

Anyways, go ahead and read your horoscope for 2014. You don't have to believe it, and it doesn't make you a geek. Not even if you're a guy (it just makes you eccentric).  Happy New Year!!