I've decided that the next time I go to Finland for more than 7 days, I'm bringing the kittycat with me. After all, how difficult can it be? Right?? Wrong.
Now, the regulations for kittycats are very clearly stated in the web pages of different airline companies. Basically the rule of thumb is that your smelly-cat + the transport container can weigh up to 6-8 kg total (depending on the airline), and the container can be max 55x40x20cm. A.k.a it has to fit underneath the seat in front of you, like a normal hand luggage. So I went ahead and bought a transport bag for the little beast. I found a real nice one too, made of fabric (not plastic). The only thing is that the height is 30cm. Oh-oh. What to do now? When in doubt, ask the airline!
"Hello miss Airline, can I transport my cat in a bag that's 30cm high, but it's made of fabric so it folds down?"
1) via telephone they say "well, does it say on the bag that you can use it in an airplane?" "Yes mam" "Well, then it's ok"
2) via e-mail they respond to me that they'll take no responsibility for any bag that's not exactly as requested in the airline rules. "Your cat may be left behind"
3) when I actually physically went to the airport to talk to the person at the check in, he said "I've never measured a cat, or a cat bag for that matter, I just look at it and if it appears small, that's ok by me"
Now that's what I call professionalism folks!
Anyway, bought the damn bag and if it isn't ok with the airline people, I might have to hit someone.
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| Tadaa! It's the delux-model. |
Next problem, making sure the cat doesn't get fat. Right now she weighs about 3,5 kg, and the bag weighs 1,2 kg. Seeing that she's willing to eat just about anything (at least once) I have a tendency to feed her a lot. Especially if I've been away and feel guilty about it. So now it's about time to put the furball on a strict diet that doesn't consist of the following:
a) beer
b) any kind of cheese I bring to the house
c) yogurts (also because they give the little kitty gas)
d) little bits of bacon
e) chocolate chip cookies
Then there's the issue of a passport. These days a cat has to have it's own passport if it wants to go for a vacation. And no, she can't be added into my passport, she's not my child (even though she's my little baby). For this, she needs a microchip and a rabies vaccine. And a current photo. I asked the cat-passport-officials if while taking the photo the cat had to look straight into the camera without smiling. Mr. Serious Passport Official informed me that actually the photo isn't obligatory, and that a small smirk is allowed on cats.
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| Oh-oh, the cat's out of the bag. Wait, is it smirking...? |
So let's say that we make it to the airport, with a bag that's probably ok, a passport with a smirking cat on it, and a cat that's not too fat.
Then comes the tricky part. A part from a few summer months, there are no direct flights to Finland from here. Which means I have to change planes somewhere in Europe. Which means that the trip takes about 6-7 hours total. Now, I don't care how freaked out and mesmerized the feline is, it's gonna wanna pee at some point. Praying that it won't do it during the flight, I'd have to try and make it pee during the lay-off.
And how do you make a cat pee on command? By yelling "pee!" at it? By opening a faucet and hoping that sounds of water will help? By making it drink a whole lot and hoping she'll pee right away instead of an hour later in the plane? I got no idea... Also, it's not like I can take the cat outside, so does that mean I'm going to have to smuggle 1 kg of cat litter with me?
I can already picture it. Me and the cat in the toilet, with the faucet running, me yelling "pee, damned, pee!" and the cat looking at the weird arrangement of cat litter like she had never seen such a presentation before.
She's SO going to pee in the plane.
Still, I'm convinced that the cat has to come see the motherland. I've come a long way with the preparations, I can't give up now. It'll be amazing, and that's it.
Come on kitty, let's take a walk on the wild side!
PS. How many different words for a cat can you come up with? Many.
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